Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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