I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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