I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
