im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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