i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
