Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize