PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
