i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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