not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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