I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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