You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
