i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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