dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
