Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
