He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
