There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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