It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
