I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
