Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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