Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize