my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He felt like a one man threesome
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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