Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize