i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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