my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
