Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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