what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
