So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
