I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
