I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
