If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize