Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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