call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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