I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
