For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
