I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
