I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
