Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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