ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
