You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
