My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
