I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
