evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Are my feet made of real feet?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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