Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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