Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
