she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
