Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
