Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
should my penis look like a turkey
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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