You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
