Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
