Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
