try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
