You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize