I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
try to milk me bitch
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