im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
