Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
