for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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