We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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