You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
