so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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