Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I didn't notice because vodka
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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