So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
