I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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