why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
no. you can't hotbox the world.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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