Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize