I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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