Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
