Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
This house was built for laser tag.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
