Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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