haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
